originally posted: JUNE 4, 2015
*note, this is from last year so the current astrology isnt correct*
I remember a time I went to a guided mediation, the only guided mediation I have ever been too, actually (at the time of writing this in 2015). And afterward the women were sharing visions they had seen, and their experiences during the mediation. One woman in particular mentioned Mercury Retrograde and my ears perked up. What did this mean? I enjoyed astrology and had dabbled in the zodiac, but I had never heard of mercury retrograde. For the past 7 years, this woman’s face has popped into my head whenever I hear about retrograde, and I am again reminded of my own ignorance on the matter.
Roughly three years ago I began to feel my “powers” increasing. And indeed there has been a snowball effect, with my spiritual energies enhancing exponentially as I am surrounded with more and more synchronicity, serendipities, and like minded individuals. And with this I began to notice even more of a connection to astrological events and my emotions. I have been practicing witchcraft for years, but I was more connected to the Moon than ever before.
Mercury goes retrograde 3 or 4 times a year, for a few weeks at a time. When it began its course in 2013, I started thinking about its effect on communication. ..I was working a lot and so the communication and technological problems were easy to see. Now however, I am lucky enough to not be working and I can dive deeper into what Mercury Retrograde means to me and how it manifests in my life. ….
The week before the retrograde, I was doing cards in my yard. Whilst getting ready to go outside, I was drawn to see what the bottom card was even tho they were packed in a pouch with my crystals waiting to be carried outdoors. I quickly glanced at the deck -It was the 8 of wands. A beautiful card depicting a fork in the path, a path lined with bluebells! (Bluebells have a special significance to me)…the meaning of the card was clear: “A fork in the road, there is more than one opportunity ahead, and it is up to you which way you choose…a card of decisions and haste”…One of my best friends, Star, had been in my mind (in fact, I was touching a crystal that links the two of us) when I had the impulse to look at the cards…so now I knew there was some connection with Star and this message. I made a mental note to share the card’s meaning with her later on.
I pulled 2 more wand cards during my reading -the two and the ten, both reversed…more messages about decisions, “difficulty determining what is valuable amongst the junk”, and deliberations. There was some indication of physical burdens, but the overlying message was one of opportunities and decisions and how my own indecisiveness was holding me back. I also considered the fact that I had pulled all these wand cards. Wands are the suit of summer and the element of fire -which invites aspects of drive, passion, and intuition into the mix. As I worked out this confusing message, there came the High Priestess as the next card, reminding me to follow my intuition…
I decided to ask for one more card for clarity…or really I was hoping for insight as to which platform this message referred to-school, work, social, spiritual etc…and the card I pulled was none other than the 8 of wands I had seen at the bottom of the deck before I started so much magick! So much synchronicity! Message received!
So what does all this have to do with mercury rx? Well, I’m not sure to be honest…All I know is I began hearing murmurings about the rx last week sometime, and given my predisposed ignorance and desire to learn more, the Rx was probably an underlying force within me as I drew these cards. It is my belief that the cards have given insight into how these next few weeks will play out, so of course they should shed some light on Mercury’s effect. However the interpretation is a work in progress…I am on the look out for the fork in the road, the message from the 8 of wands…
When someone says Mercury’s in retrograde, the first thing that comes to mind is communication issues and technological problems. This was very obvious to me as my husband and I spent the past 2 days bickering. (To be clear, I was not sure on the dates of retrograde until today (Tuesday) and hadn’t thought much of it before Monday -so it’s not like I went into the weekend thinking “my husband and I will probably argue bc of mercury rx”…, I have been objectively/subconsciously riding the waves of the Rx for the past 2 days…) My laptop has been in the shop, and we have had nothing but the worst time communicating with the shop’s employees -the computer is still broken! In addition, every single plan I have made since last Saturday the 16th has gone down the drain. Everyone has canceled, rescheduled, or something came up where I couldn’t go through with my scheduled arrangements. That being said -it is easy to feel like the Rx casts a shadow over your world, a shadow that you want to shy away from…it makes the next few weeks look like tough terrain…
Another theme associated with this cosmic event, is that of looking into the past…this is a very broad topic and there are so many ways we can reflect on our lives. My father, whom I haven’t spoken to in 5 years, (and who was never really around and treated my mom like shit), was in my mind last night. As I laid down for bed and my mind began to wander, a clear and crisp image of my dad appeared in my 3rd eye. My empathetic abilities kicked in, and I swam with a sudden wave of emotional sadness. What is my father doing now? What does he look like? Is he well? Sick? Maybe he thinks of me, and is sad. Maybe he thinks of me and feels guilty and sad but his own insecurities and problems hold him back from ever attempting to make a mends….These are the sentences that flashed through my head as I conjured up an aged version of my father from the depths of my memories. Truly I have never before thought of him with any kind of compassion or forgiveness in my entire life. A moment later I literally shook the sadness from my head, and asked myself why on earth I was thinking of my father. It was seriously so unusual, and when his image came to me I felt that familiar psychic link I have come to associate with “picking up on other people’s vibes” as I put it. LOL. (It really does feel like a foreign thought!) I knew at once it was the work of Mercury retrograde. As I considered this, I realized that a precious gift had been given to me -the ability to forgive. Because of my blast to the past, I had unearthed feelings for my father that I didn’t know I had…I’m not saying I’m ready to give him a call, but I am no longer looking back with only contempt for him…It is very possible that he is a different person now, as I am, and wishes things were different…without this insight provided by the retrograde, I may have never been receptive to him again….
So perhaps looking into the past involves digging up old feelings and reconsidering, perhaps it offers a new perspective to show you why things have played out the way they have in life….I think the key here is to be ready for anything and stay aware of any opportunities to learn from the past…I know this isn’t the only visit my past is going to make during these next few weeks….
~3 days later~
…caverns and cocoons…mother nature’s shelters…I feel as if I have been slightly hibernating, not necessarily indoors like winter hibernating, but withdrawn from people…I certainly have been very reflective, and have shied away from writing and socializing these past few days for fear of not using the right words…language is such a barrier…I have been enjoying the depths of my mind….relaxing at home in my own company…working out how I am feeling, and noticing the stark contrast to my usual adventure seeking “get out of the house” personality. I declined a few invites out with Star, and that’s when I realized how much I was enjoying the safety and security of my own thoughts and feelings.
I have also been sleeping pretty deeply, and still waking up tired…which is unusual for me, normally I’m like the damn princess and the pea…I believe we all astral travel during sleep, and I have had such a hard time getting up these past few days! Its different than physical fatigue, its like a sleepy, dreamy quality, like a desire to rest in a cocoon for several days and think within myself…I wonder if my astral projection abilities have been hindered by the retrograde, and just like my physical form wishes to stay in, my astral self also takes a break from adventure…
This retrograde has given me time for personal reflection, which as an INFJ personality type, I don’t usually allow myself. Perhaps that is part of the ebb and flow of Merc’s Rx, because it does happen 3-4 times per year…Perhaps it allows us for a time of self renewal and spiritual cleansing…a time to get inside our own heads and clean out the junk…
Connections…I have continued to make connections to my past, during these last 4 days of the “official” retrograde period…Ivy and I went for a walk, and it was reminiscent of our high school days…we explored a new part in the forest and I was reminded of how deep our friendship goes and how much I love her as a siSTAR
Oh, and my father made another appearance! I was cleaning up the house after Ivy and I returned from the walk, and I was babbling to my dogs about something (LOL). I was trying to get them to settle down when I suddenly yelled at Ranger- “Back off Buckwheat”!! I haven’t uttered that phrase nor even HEARD that phrase in seriously over 15 years. My father always said that when I was little. Its from the little rascals which was before my time, but he was a huge fan. No one else in my entire world has ever said those words, and I hadn’t thought of them in years. But Bam! Out of the corners of my memories my mind pulled up my father’s phrase. Its like he spoke through me. Perhaps he is dead, and is visiting me…but I think that would be a different feeling entirely….I think the retrograde has stirred up a part of me that has been asleep for a long time, and now I am ready to start sorting out the feelings I have for my father…
Of course, delays, misunderstandings, and mistakes are indeed happening (more canceled plans, people stuck at work, stores closed, credit cards not working, computers acting up *ARRGH*) -but I am here to tell you, the retrograde is not nearly as negative as it is made out to be! I always knew mercury was getting a bad wrap
Instead of causing quarrels and making us frustrated and causing lethargy, Mercury Retrograde reminds us how important it is to go with the flow. Nothing is ever in control. This is such a crucial sentiment to remember. An article I read on the retrograde challenged its readers to have a sense of humor about it. And I am passing on this invaluable information! What great advice!
Anything and everything in the past seems to be stirring up now…getting back into old routines, finishing ideas/projects/to-do lists that I’ve had going on for a while…AND the first event indicated by my tarot cards has manifested!!!
I have been pondering and pondering about the reading for a week now, remembering the messages from the wand cards about the impending fork in the road, hasty decisions, difficulty choosing, and following intuition, the wand cards..and then of course there was the connection to Star..Then yesterday she and I both received phone calls offering us places at a different campus for school! We have been on the waiting list for this campus for a year…but I don’t necessarily want to transfer right now as I am comfortable at our current place….But a decision must be made! Which campus to choose?! Hence the fork in the road! Annnnd the obvious connection to Star, annnnd lets not forget the message about “haste” – I only have until Tuesday to decide, and actually the school rep wants the answer today (Friday)…!!!
So what to do? Mercury Retrograde is traditionally not the time to start anything “new”, but it is the time to complete old projects or something you meant to do a while ago…but does being on a waiting list (something I started a while ago), have a stronger pull than the fact that going to a new campus is just soooo ‘NEW’ that it would classify as starting something new in my life? I certainly think so…
I was finally able to break the spell that was keeping me down on the couch feeling like a slug lol, and went for a jog yesterday (thanks Rx for getting me into my old routine!). I did yoga in the woods, and was really looking forward to expelling some pent up energy thru running…as I meditated in the sand near the river bank before starting yoga, I breathed in the healing, life giving energy of the forest around me. I felt the life force of the divine feminine within me and I dedicated my practice to Gaia. I worked through a few vinyasas, and sank into child’s pose where I stretched my roots into mother earth, and felt her immense presence beneath my skin. For a moment I was between worlds…
As I pushed myself to jog for the first time in months, I was mesmerized by the trees lining the path. They radiated the Earth Mother’s energy as they rose fiercely from their roots in her soil. I felt their breath on the wind that ripped around my shoulders, and I thought about the cleansing, refreshing power of air as I focused on my breathing. Soon I was jogging heatedly, the long path through the trees stretched out in front of me to my horizon…I let my gaze relax as in yoga, and my vision tunneled a bit, causing the golden tones of the sun to pierce kaleidoscopically through the spring green leaves. The gravel path blurred and the outside world faded away.
As I ran through my tunnel of light, I was reminded of the 8 of wands and its fork in the road. My decision about school with Star. This was my path. This would be my path. I opened myself to the powers of nature, my vibrations heightened even more from my workout mix music blasting into my headphones. Talk about sensory deprivation -more like overload! I lost myself in the beauty around me, charging down this path -visualizing the 8 of wands, seeing myself running down the path toward the fork, going left or right, and continuing on…”Here I am” I thought. “I am between worlds, running down the path toward the fork on the 8 of wands”. I thought about the card’s significance to me, and I reached out to connect with source, I declared myself open to the message, and held any other intrusive thought at bay. The elements were all around me, coursing through me, as I did magick on this path in the woods. I immediately felt relieved about my impending decision. I could see myself choosing my path, and that path will become clear to me…no need to stress…just let my intuition guide me
The tunnel continued on a bit more, and I relaxed against the cooling breeze. As I fatigued, I gathered up energy from the Earth and I felt it course through me with renewed vigor. As my jog came to an end, I stood in awe of the power around me. Smiling and gazing lovingly up at the trees and the forest around me, I felt truly blessed…
Later, I craved a cold shower. I needed to feel the slick purification of water cascading down my body. As I shampooed my hair, I was reminded of a meditation one of my soul sistars recently shared. I began to imagine the suds around my fingers as bubbles within my skull. I visualized myself scrubbing the dark depths of my mind -soaping up the blackness with dense white bubbles. Water sloshed around and my fingers guided the soap, making wide foamy arcs and cleansing circles, the soap suds filling my skull like in the wizard scene of Disney’s Fantasia. Magic bubbles. I put the shower head on full blast and rinsed away anything I was “carrying”. The cold water pierced thru my trance, and my senses heightened. As I felt the water seep through my hair onto my skin, I visualized it becoming a murky brown and running down the drain. All my heartache, anxiety, negativity, hate, anything that was holding back my spirit was washed down the drain…I continued with my water enchantment, feeling the element work its way down the length of my spine, it caressed my breasts, it danced off my fingertips, and it raced down my legs, rinsing me of any “bad joojoo” I was carrying.
I spent the rest of the day reflecting on the powerful experiences I had had with each of the elements…They had been truly present and very much alive…I felt refreshed and renewed, and not at all hindered by the chaos of Mercury’s retrograde.
~3 days later~
Well here we are. Retrograde is in full swing. The sun transitioned into Gemini, Mercury’s home sign….This has brought on waves of indecisiveness, some so ridiculous that I’m forced to take a step back and remind myself it doesn’t really matter. I have been caught up with anxiety over when to leave the house, which errand to do first, which purchase to make, which recreational activity to partake in, what to eat for dinner….you name it, and I stressed over it the past few days. Ahhh Gemini, the twins, the alternating sides of ourselves…playing games with me! I have been faced with several PAIN IN THE ASS errands this week, in preparation for the start of summer classes, and the retrograde was already sending me on a rollercoaster ride with those…and now this flip floppy-ness that Gemini has conjured up…
I think I have spent a majority of my time the past 3 days either dealing with some failing bureaucratic system, or trying to accomplish tasks and run errands to no avail, or literally stalling out until I could make up my mind -and then changing it again and ending up not accomplishing anything….
But I continued to try and be positive, and I wasn’t about to allow this retrograde and Gemini’s influence get the better of me. So today I decided (after much deliberation), that nature was what I needed, and I was overdue for a walk in the woods….
I got the dogs ready (pain in the ass), changed my clothes (twice), and (finally) left the house…Luckily enough I knew which spot I wanted to park at, and I was really looking forward to some solitary hiking with Ranger and Arya. However nature did not have my remedy -and that was immediately clear by the insane amount of insects that greeted our arrival. After struggling with the leashes, I continued down the path and was met with a force of mosquitoes, nats, bees, and the like. I got the leashes off as soon as I could and marched on, regretting the long hippie dress I decided to wear. I waved my arm out in front of me, determined to make it past the clouds of bugs. Stomping through the undergrowth, I exhaled strongly through my nostrils so as not to inhale any of the bugs. “Doesn’t anyone come down this trail?!” I exclaimed loudly! The little flying bodies overwhelmed me -I felt them fluttering near my exposed skin (Damn this halter top dress!), I heard them buzzing near my ears, and I felt them landing on my arms and biting my flesh. I peered down at my exposed ankles and the generic Toms that I had stupidly worn. My imagination ran away from me (thanks Pisces), and I had images of poison ivy or a tick lodging itself in my bare ankle…my anxiety level rose (thanks Gemini). When the 5th spiderweb (!) brushed my skin, and after the third mosquito bite, I sighed and turned around, realizing I was not meant to be on this walk…
Seems like a strange lesson for the universe to give me…Perhaps it goes back to wanting control, and the retrograde teaching us we need to go with the flow….Maybe if I had continued, I would’ve slipped and broken my ankle -and this was my spirit guides’ way of protecting me….we will never know…
Even the tone in the above paragraphs is different from that of my earlier ones…It seems Mercury’s chaos is changed by it’s home sign Gemini…My moods have been hostile at best, and the indecisiveness has led to an increased anxiety level and an uptight attitude, climaxing in waves of an emotional tempest…While Mercury rules our relationships, projects, communication, technology, transportation, tasks, and all these “outward” ways we interact with the world, Gemini has turned the focus inward. I am battling with myself now, not only my friends.
Then along came Neptune…as a Pisces (Neptune’s sign), I am even more susceptible to the psychic energies of Neptune. She came over me like a thick blanket of fog, weighing down my inhibitions, filling me with daydreams and lethargy. I woke up this morning feeling her holding onto my brainwaves….vivid images from my dreams remained in my mind. I blinked my eyes into focus, feeling that incredible heaviness that accompanies astral travel. It was then that I knew I must check the astrology chart -and sure enough, Neptune is squaring off with the major forces of Mars, Mercury (further impacting the retrograde), and the Sun (Influencing my sun sign and its home sign -Pisces)
~3 days later~ (I’m sensing a pattern here, are you?)
The weather matches my mood. Intense black clouds have been hovering in the sky…breaking for sunlight, and then clumping up in a great brooding mass and emptying their contents on the unsuspecting ground in brief torrents of power….Only to be whisked away with the wind again, opening up for the sunlight to scorch the Earth. It seems Gemini prevents even the weather from making up its mind…..
It’s true I have been very up and down. Fleeting impulses of motivation, followed by a sluggish sense of pointlessness. Neptune’s fog has lifted as of yesterday, and today I do feel more clear. However, Gemini has latched on to my psyche and I cannot seem to focus on any one thing long enough to accomplish tasks. Its combination with the retrograde has built bars against my windows of friendship. Most gates are closed to communication, and the Indigo in me feels more lost than usual. Words are bursting forth from my mouth without regard of their weight…And I am not the only one suffering from word vomit…So in response to this I have turned inward, In fact I am so reflective at the moment that I cannot even seem to write these words exactly how I intend….Mercury retrograde is clearly a time for meditation, grounding, and getting back to yourself…It is not the time for social gatherings or business meetings, or projects.
~3 days later~
With the retrograde coming to a close, I am challenged to share my final thoughts on its presence…Mercury Retrograde is all about living in the moment. It serves as a reminder that most things aren’t under our control, and it gives us a reason to take a break from our fast paced life styles. Things were getting kind of dark there toward the end, and I was grateful for my safe space at home in which to hide. Everything in life needs balance, and Mercury is here to provide that balance whether you’re ready or not. It forces us to take a better look at how we are communicating….forces us to take a step back and reflect….forces us to hold off on new projects and ideas, while reminding us to finish what we started. It probes at things in our past that we thought were hidden forever. These retrospective tasks are essential for us to move on. We need to embrace Mercury Retrograde, each time it comes around, as a time for quite reflection and new discovery. We cannot let our egos get the best of us, and get angry because the Rx has thrown a wrench in our plans….the only plan that truly matters is the divine plan of your own spiritual enlightenment, and that is something Mercury is good for Just remember to go with the flow
For more about Mercury Retrograde check out my blog Going Retro :D